Friday, June 01, 2012

Why Moms Cry

Well, there's a loaded title! This could be a long post. But in this case, I'm referring to why mothers cry when their children celebrate milestones in their lives. It's not because we're not happy to see them achieve goals or move ahead in life. It's because every step they take toward making their own way in the world takes them a step farther away from the sweet, uncomplicated innocence they were born with. I know that sounds bitter, but here's where it's coming from:

My two-year-old daughter has recently started doing this quirky, lovely thing when I bend down to help her get dressed or put her shoes on. It stops me in my tracks every time. As I stoop to her level and start fiddling with snaps or shoelaces I feel her soft, pudgy hands on my face, one on each cheek lifting my face up to look at her. She looks straight into my eyes. I'm mesmerized by her. Then she leans in and wraps her arms around my neck for a lingering hug. I forget we're late for wherever it was we were going. There's joy and adoration in her big blue eyes. They're so clear and bright and unscathed. I just want to capture this purity and preserve it for her. Probably less than 30 seconds after it starts, it's over. Her clothes or shoes are on and she's off and running.

And I realize that's why I'll cry when she goes off to school or turns Sweet 16. There will certainly be tears of joy mixed in with the sad ones. There's pride in seeing someone you love and nurture succeed and find independence. But, at least for me, no matter how old those eyes get I'll always want to protect them from the things that are out there in our big, bad world.